Women could benefit from thinking more like men
Men could learn a few things from women too, but there are definitely some things women could learn from men about healthy thinking.
Understand, of course, that this article is based on a broad generalization of how each sex thinks, there are always exceptions, but generally these stereotypes are pretty accurate.
1) Men don’t worry as much as women.
They don't worry as much, because they also don’t think as much as women. Some experts believe that women think three to four times as many thoughts in a day as men do. They don't over analyze and apply meanings - adding fear to everything.
Fear is really the problem ladies. You are too afraid that things won’t go right, or that you won’t be good enough. You are afraid all the time.
Men worry less because we are often not as afraid about winning the approval of others. People pleasing is a huge problem for many girls.
The fact is, most women are born pleasers. They take care of everyone first and often don't have/make time for themselves - kids, husband, job, church, etc, come first! They feel terribly selfish if they take care of themselves at all.
Take care of yourself first ladies! You need to be a priority.
A friend of mine often asks women “Who is the most important person in your life?”
Most women reply with a husband or children.
Ladies, why do they have you put your oxygen mask on first if they airplane has problems?
If you don’t take care of yourself first, you won’t be able to take care of anyone else. Women need to apply that philosophy in their daily lives too.
Who's the most important person in your life?
2) Men don't fear workplace clashes as much (it's just business, they don't take it personally).
Once again the problem is a fear problem. Fear causes women to take things personally and make everything about them. Don’t get caught up in fear and drama ladies.
Usually when someone has a problem with you, it’s about their fears – it’s not about you. If men get yelled at, they can usually blow it off and not care. They seem to find it easier, to see it’s the other person who has the problem. It's about them not you.
3) Men aren’t perfectionists – they find it easy to say it’s good enough.
Women have more fear around being good enough – they always feel they must prove their value. Ladies you need to get in trust with the universe that you are always good enough and who you are meant to be right now.
Women put too much pressure on themselves. I've noticed how women at church bring table cloths, props and flowers and set up for their lessons when guys just show up and teach. Keeping things simple can relieve A LOT of stress in women's lives. There is a difference between a cluttered house and a dirty one. The only person you need to please is yourself. What is your standard for good enough? Figure it out and don’t worry about everyone elses.
4) Men don’t nitpick about their looks.
This is pretty obvious in our society. I don't think men care about their partner's looks nearly as much as women think they do. And if you women would get honest with yourselves you are not dressing up to impress us – you are dressing up to impress other women.
Men DO NOT REALLY CARE if their wife has a little bit of a stomach on her. In reality, she got that paunch having children for that man. I think men are not that critical of little imperfections, and besides, most men have guts themselves so who are they to talk?
I recommend getting dressed and fixing your hair, then go out the door and stop worrying about how you look after that. Focus on being real, genuine, loving and happy – that is what makes people like you.
5) Men ask for what they want.
Women have more fear around being accepted - so they are often afraid to speak their truth. If you want romance - ask for it. If you want help - ask for it. If you want compassion - ask for it.
Don't expect your man to read your mind. He likely is distracted.
My wife and I have an agreement that if I'm not paying attention, I tell her that I didn't hear what she said. She agreed to not take this personally IF I am honest and just say, "Sorry I didn't hear you," and I agree not to pretend that I heard her or act like I did!
We need to make agreements and be clear about what we want.
It's also okay to take on roles - I'm the official "bed maker" in my marriage. I make the bed everyday and have done so for years. My wife loves that! She does laundry and I love that! Men are known for their negotiating skills. Women shouldn't be afraid to negotiate for what they need from their man with everything from household duties to children to intimacy to money.
6) My last bit of advice for women… make us feel like your hero!
It's a heroic act to provide a living for a family. To work hard and take care of your family is always an honorable act. To be faithful to one's spouse and to avoid pornography is a virtuous thing.
This probably hearkens back to caveman days when a man wants to be appreciated for his efforts. Express to us what a hero we are! It will go a long ways to making us have a healthy ego at work - especially on the tough days.
Leave us a little note, now and again. Your man will carry your appreciation for who he is to work with him. Put one in the car for him. Surprise him. Genuine love and appreciation is a tonic which works equally well on both sexes!