As William Blight's personal Naturopathic Consultant and Acupuncturist, I can state with complete certainty that Blight is in the pink of good health. It is important to get this health update out to the public because of the many scurrilous stories circulating about the web. First, some non-Sanctuary sources (I won't go into names) have begun to speculate that Blight has departed this realm and been replaced by the Sanctuary's new AI. Even crazier reports state that Blight never actually existed and is some type of Corporate Transhuman Emulation whose exact nature is so fluid as not to be amenable to direct quantification or qualitative analysis.
In regard to these spurious reports, let me go on record as follows: On a daily basis, I serve William his fresh cup of green tea with its gold salt additive. (His Kicker, he calls it.) The inside of the cup now glistens with a bright patina of gold. As in all matters, Blight instituted this health practice long before it was discovered by our near moribund medical establishment. Since they will never support a treatment that is inexpensive and works (one outside of the pharmaceutical lobby), don't expect to see it at a doctor's office near you.
In regard to stories about Blight's failure to appear at the Sanctuary over the last 5 years, let me explain what is really happening: To obtain deep insight into the functioning of the Sanctuary (its relative health), Blight has taken to wearing elaborate disguises. Unidentified and perhaps unidentifiable, he has worked in the communal gardens as well as taken long stints in the hot tub with Sidney and the other girls. (I specifically recommended his hot tub therapy.) Blight’s most recent report: The Sanctuary is flourishing, but the tomatoes require more weeding.
Postscript: I highly recommend that if you wish to consult with The Founder* that you never barge into his office. Always make an appointment and then knock repeatedly and hard on his door. Once, I just walked in and found Blight sprawled, wide-eyed, and apparently moribund in his chair. Immediately, I grabbed my pocket mirror and checked for any vapor from his breath. Detecting none, I then checked for a pulse - again Nada. Preparing to bend down to give the Founder mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, Blight immediately revived and gave his personal consultant a hard but brutally effective Enlightenment Slap*.
Unfortunately, (and I must bare full blame and shame for this), I disturbed The Founder during his special form of near-death, transcendental meditation (transcendental 2.0 he calls it). Blight was working on a particularly obtuse and profoundly difficult Gedanken: How to generate antimatter by means of psychic vacuum engineering.
He never successfully concluded his experiment, which he states included a new form of Penning trap*. The Lesson Here: Always make an appointment and then knock hard!
Penning traps are devices for the storage of charged particles using a constant static magnetic field and a spatially inhomogeneous static electric field. This kind of trap is particularly well suited to precision measurements of properties of ions and stable subatomic particles which have electric charge. Recently this trap has been used in the physical realization of quantum computation and quantum information processing as well. The Penning trap has also been used in the realization of what is known as a geonium atom. Currently Penning traps are used in many laboratories worldwide, for example at CERN it is used to store antiprotons. (From Wkipedia)
Enlightenment Slap was the action of choice employed by Zen Masters in precipitating Satori in their disciples. Similar to professional gourmet cooking, the Enlightenment Slap, like seasoning, must be added at the perfect moment of greatest transcendental tension. It is quite likely that masters of Transcendental 2.0 like the famous Founder, William Blight, may actually feign death (like possums) to lure a disciple into a state of mental crisis. Then, when least expected, the Enlightenment Slap works its satori magic on the disciple.
(From the Key Sanctuary Terms Digest)
Satori is a state of enlightenment. (From Wikipedia)
The Founder - Also known as the Great Initiator and also the Unmoved Mover, The Founder created and laid out both the structure and functioning of the Montana Sanctuary. Although the historical chronology of The Founder is at best fragmentary, we are told by The Founder that he discovered Plato at the age of 7 and that he dedicated his life to enabling a working version of Plato's Republic. Because of the extremely reclusive nature of The Founder, speculation has been rife that The Founder has departed this realm or is in fact one of the first Corporate Transhuman Emulations, perhaps the first viable form of AI.
(From the Key Sanctuary Terms Digest)